The Life (and Death) of Mascots
Mike V, the live Bengal tiger mascot of LSU, died last week of kidney failure. He was 17, which is within the life expectancy for a tiger. As his name would suggest, he was the fifth live mascot at LSU, and I’m sure I’m not the only fan that thought, upon hearing the news of his death, that a new mascot absolutely must be found before the start of football season. I realize two and a half months is kinda short notice to get a tiger, but I think it can be done, and make no mistake, the search is underway.
Enter PETA.
PETA (People Eschewing Thought when it comes to Animals) wants LSU to not have a live mascot. They argue that large cats in captivity are deprived of all the large cat stuff that large cats do, like hunt, climb, and choose a mate. Plus, they have to live in captivity (if you can call that living).
Enter a rebuttal.
Mike (and I use the singular here to refer to all Mikes, past and present; there has been a Mike for 71 years, and barring the extinction of the Bengal tiger, there always will be) is a part of the LSU family. He’s a fixture on campus, and frequently makes the news. Mike’s habitat is huge. 15,000 square feet huge. It has multiple ground surfaces, a pool and waterfall, a couple of trees, multiple levels, and plenty of open space. In short, Mike has better campus housing than the students do. In addition to his habitat, Mike has the best medical care available right up the road at the LSU Veterinary School. He also eats pretty well. And if he so desired, I’m sure he would have access to the best tiger tail out there. Hell, the folks at the Vet School may hook him up periodically as part of his care package. So even if Mike takes issue with the fact that he’s being deprived of some of the things he could do in the wild, the trade-off is that he’s very well taken care of and protected from poachers, the result of which is he gets to live to old age.
Now, I’m all for protecting animals and preventing animal cruelty, etc. But, in light of the fact that Mike has it so good, I think the PETA people can go jump. However, one option I would be open to, which was suggested by my brother, is to forgo acquiring a tiger and put the PETA folks in Mike’s cage while depriving them of the world-class care they feel isn’t good enough for a tiger. Then we sit back and watch them turn into animals.
Personally, I’d prefer to see Mike VI before the football games, but wheeling out a cage of feral PETA representatives in front of 93,000 screaming fans would do in a pinch.
