Barack Obama is not…
…a terrorist
…a socialist
…a communist
…a racist
…a dangerous radical
…a Muslim
…a “Manchurian Candidate”
…a threat to our country
…a fulfillment of Biblical prophecy
Barack Obama is…
THE FORTY-FOURTH PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES
President-elect Barack Obama, daughters Sasha and Malia, and wife Michelle
This might be the funniest thing I’ve read in quite a while. From a comment thread over at MGK concerning the final Presidential debate:
McCain is like if Gopher from Winnie the Pooh turned into a real person, only not in the cool way where you and Tigger have crazy antics, [but] in the way that makes you horrified that Pooh is a morbidly obese idiot savant and that Piglet is the little old cat lady/man that you suspect may be a child molester/cannibal. The only cool one would be Eeyore, and only because he is a happy drunk. Just like that.
Go ahead and let that imagery roll around in your head for a bit.
A NOTE FROM THE AUTHOR:
I wrote this piece two years ago, although it seems like it’s been much longer. Sadly, not much has changed since then, except now we, as a nation, are in a position to once again change the direction of our government, away from the disastrous vector of the last seven + years, and are at great risk (once again) of being duped, cowed, and intimidated into not changing anything, out of fear of the unknown. Fear of a black man, fear of change, fear of liberals.
Two months after this was written, the Democrats won slim majorities in both the House and Senate. Not surprisingly, the Republicans were unwilling to let the other team control the direction of the game, and have filibustered and stonewalled nearly everything the Democrats want to do, from new laws and policy proposals, to investigations of administrative malfeasance within various government institutions, only to turn around and say the Democrats can’t get anything done.
With that said, I present:
Five years and one day ago, I attended an art opening at LSU in which two of my pieces, one painting and one print, had been displayed. The painting won an award. I hung out, talked to fellow students and artists, received congratulations from my professors, admired all the other work that someone saw as somehow less deserving than mine, had a glass of wine, and did your general art show stuff. Later that night, I ended up at a coffee shop with a few people talking about somebody’s son that had recently bought an old DeLorean. The specifics escape me. When I got back home, I’d decided that as a reward for placing in the show, I would allow myself to sleep in and skip my first two classes the next day (both of them art history). With that in my head, I went off to sleep.
The next morning, about 8:30, well before my alarm was set to go off, I wake up to one of my roommates banging on my door, telling me I have to get up NOW, that there’s been some sort of terrorism something-or-other. The first thing I can remember seeing, about half an hour later, is a building falling down. Then another one. Then chaos. I sat in front of the TV for a couple more hours, then headed for campus. Class at noon. There was a note on the studio door from Kelli, our professor, saying “Go home and watch TV”. Now that I think about it, that was probably the first time a teacher had ever instructed her students to miss class in order to watch TV. So that’s what I did. For the rest of the day and late into the night. And most of the next day too, seeing as how some of the teachers weren’t even going to class.
Everybody knows what happened that morning. The only reason I give the backstory is because Tuesday morning seems very recent in my memory; yet Monday night, the night I first saw my own work on a gallery wall, seems very, very distant. I had heard of, but never experienced, this sort of temporal weirdness. It’s the type of thing that parents experience when a child is born. Suddenly, time somehow starts over from that moment, and everything previous is far, far away.
Anyways, on to the point…
In the five years since, we’ve been told countless times (always with increasing frequency every two years around election time, and always from the right, oddly enough) that to question the policies and behavior of our government, in any way, is to give comfort to the terrorists.
Want a little oversight in Congress? Too bad, it would help the terrorists.
What about reporters asking questions? Sorry, that might help the terrorists.
Wanna get your info somewhere other than Fox News? Bill O’Reilly says you’re a terrorist!
There was even a commercial that implied if you smoke weed you’d be helping the terrorists, because terrorists make their money from drug sales. While it may be true that some terror funding comes from drug money, it’s mostly from the opium trade out of Afghanistan, not pot, most of which smoked in the U.S. comes from Kentucky.
We’ve also been told that to exploit September 11 for political gain would be criminal, immoral, and just plain low (and would also help the terrorists). But only if you’re on the left. Because hasn’t the right wing been exploiting September 11 since a few days after the fact? They even reduced the event in people’s minds into a compact, easy to say, reminiscent-of-an-emergency jingle. 9/11. It’s so widely used that you use it yourself. I use it. EVERYBODY uses it. There are even those that take it one step further and say, “nine-one-one” instead of “nine-eleven”. You know, just like they taught you in elementary school: some big, bad, scary thing happens…call 9-1-1.
And that is how the right has exploited September 11: fear. Nameless, faceless, hideous fear. Well, no. That’s not quite right. Because fear does have a name. It’s Ahmed, or Rashid, or Mohammed, or Yusef, or Rahim… And the face is swarthy, with a dark beard, and dark eyes, and possibly a turban. The right has gotten everyone in the country (or at least a voting majority) so scared of the Arab boogieman under the bed that they’ve been able to push through any policy they want. And if it happens to be something that the people might object to, classify it. Say it’s a matter of national security. And if that doesn’t work, just make something up. By the time anyone gets wise, it’ll be too late.
The right has gotten five years worth of policy mileage out of this fear. But ultimately, fear is a very bad position from which to act. Fear leads to mosques and Muslim-owned businesses being burned down. Fear leads to willful relinquishment of liberty. To quote Master Yoda, “Fear is the path to the Dark Side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Fear has allowed the the current administration to start a war in Iraq under questionable pretext, consolidate more power in the Executive than at any point in recent memory, mold the Supreme Court in such a way as to have a better chance of retaining that power, hold prisoners without charges or explanation, operate secret prisons across the globe that don’t fall under the limitations of the Geneva Accords in order to extract information from prisoners via torture, as well as keep the press from questioning any of these actions for fear of losing access.
Fear is a highly effective propaganda tool. Just ask Herman Goering, Hitler’s second in command:
“Of course the people don’t want war. But after all, it’s the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it’s always a simple matter to drag the people along whether it’s a democracy, a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism, and exposing the country to greater danger.”
In contrast, President Franklin Roosevelt had something to say on the issue as well:
“…the only thing we have to fear is fear itself—nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.”
So fear not. Fear stifles debate, and without debate democracy can’t work.
This, apparently, is what passes for humor amongst American “conservatives” now days:
Waterboarding, in case you didn’t know, is a form of torture consisting of restraining a person on their back, head angled downward, and pouring water over the victim’s face and into their breathing passages. In other words, when someone is waterboarded, they are drowning. Sometimes this forced drowning results in death, sometimes not, but the physical damage (water in the lungs, etc.) and deep psychological trauma are undeniable.
Waterboarding has been used throughout history by such groups as the Spanish Inquisition, both the Japanese and Germans in WWII, the Chilean Junta of Augusto Pinochet, and the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia.
…and the United States Military and intelligence services, under direct authorization from the higest levels of the Bush administration.
Apparently, since “we” did it to alleged terrorists, it suddenly becomes not-torture, and is therefore OK.
Now, if you want to wear a t-shirt that shows your support of the Republican candidate (or lack thereof for the Democrat), or expresses your pride in your right-leaning political stance, fine. By all means, go right ahead. But the above t-shirt is beyond the pale. The attitude expressed is by no definition “conservative”, and it’s not funny. It’s just sick.
The people that find this shirt funny wouldn’t be caught dead wearing something that said, “I’D RATHER BE RAPING CHILDREN”, yet rape is a physically and psychologically devastating experience, also used by the Inquisition, Imperial Japan, the Nazis, the Pinochet regime, and the Khmer Rouge. Where’s the difference? Both are acts that have gotten people executed for torture and war crimes, which is exactly what waterboarding is: torture and a war crime.
And our government has authorized its use.
And there are people that think it’s funny.
Those people make me sick.
I think I’ve found the perfect graphical representation of my job. The committee in my case is usually a committee of one — the boss — and at times the customers themselves (who generally wouldn’t recognize good design if their lives depended on it).
Honestly, I love my job. It’s the people I can’t stand. Which leads, inexorably, to this attitude:
…and the day drags on…
Those who know me know of my affinity for the comedy/philosophy of George Carlin. Many of the funniest (and most wise) things I’ve ever heard or read came from him. My own sense of humor (at least the part that wasn’t shaped by my father) was formed largely by being exposed to old Carlin routines.
George is gone now. The world (or at least my world) is a brighter, funnier, more thoughtful place because of his work; and darker and more sad now because of his absence.
George Carlin, RIP
George (and again, Dad) taught me that there were seven words you couldn’t say on television, and the wife never ceases to be amazed at my ability to rattle them off as quickly as I do, and in order, no less.
So, out of sadness and joy, I’ve only got this to say:
Shit
Piss
Fuck
Cunt
Cocksucker
Motherfucker
and Tits
“America, this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past. Our time to bring new energy and new ideas to the challenges we face. Our time to offer a new direction for the country we love.”
-Barack Obama June 3, 2008
Well…damn.
While he was never the first name to come to mind when I thought about my favorite artists, I think my style (or lack of one), outlook, and approach to art and art-making are probably closest to those of Robert Rauschenberg.
He died of heart failure last night at the age of 82.
Robert Rauschenberg 1925-2008
In “The Obsolete Man”, from the second season of The Twilight Zone, a man, Wordsworth, is found to be obsolete by the State. He is secretly both religious and a librarian, and is sentenced to death, for both religion and books are illegal. He requests that his final hours be televised, and is granted a choice in his manner of execution.
In his final hours, Wordsworth summons the Chancellor, the man who prosecuted and condemned him, to join him in his apartment. Upon the Chancellor’s arrival, Wordsworth informs him that the door is locked and that a bomb will go off, thus carrying out the State’s execution. Wordsworth procedes to read to the Chancellor from the Bible.
Here are the final five minutes:
Mr. Serling: “Any state, any entity, any ideology that fails to recognize the worth, the dignity, the rights of man, that state is obsolete.”
And now we know why they don’t allow Twilight Zone re-runs at the White House.
